My Love For Star Wars in a Party

When I was 11, I received my first copy of Star Wars Insider from Lucasfilm after writing a letter to George Lucas (I did not get reply from him, alas).  Within the issue, they had a section where they printed letters from fans and readers.  One letter started out as:

Dear Insider,

I have been a Star Wars fan for over 20 years…

That sentence has stuck with me throughout my life.  Why?  Because family and friends thought I was going through a “fad” or “stage” in life with my Star Wars obsession.  And there is nothing that irks me more, even at that young age, than people thinking I’ll grow out of something or won’t like something as much in a while.  I saw that sentence and thought, “I want to be a Star Wars fan for over 20 years as well.”

I haven’t reached 20 years, but I’m currently at 18 years.  Actually, technically I’m over 20 years if you count when I first saw Star Wars, but I only count the age when I became obsessed as the starting point in my Star Wars journey.

Throughout this journey I have:

Yup, that Star Wars party happened this past weekend.  Why?  Because what better time to celebrate my true love than around Valentine’s Day?

I know “first annual” is an oxymoron of sorts, but I wanted to make it clear that this is something that will be continual on a yearly basis.  Due to some bad weather the day before, we only had seven people show up (12 RSVP’d as a yes) but I was more than happy with that!  This was blue_milkthe greatest party I could ever throw, in my opinion.

And, oh the discussions!  It was so wonderful to sit with friends, drink some wine and blue milk (yes, I had some blue milk and Yoda soda), watch a Star Wars movie, and discuss Star Wars for four hours.  Heaven.

What movie did we watch?  Ah, the suspense!  No one knew until they showed up and there was a prize for those who guessed correctly.  Surprisingly, there were a lot of ROTS guesses, which I thought was very strange.

But the movie I chose was The Force Awakens for two reasons: 1) In honor of my daughter, whom I hope will grow to be like Rey, and 2) It was the one movie I had not seen and discussed with a lot of my friends.

To reiterate: the discussions!  I have missed talking about Star Wars and guessing what will be coming next with good friends.  Here were my favorite discussions that happened during the party…please chime in with any thoughts you might have as well.

1. The Force Vision/Knights of Ren

When Rey touches Luke’s lightsaber on Takodona, there a bunch of scenes that go by very quickly.  One of them involves what looks like a knights-of-renmassacre by the Knights of Ren, with Kylo leading them with a lightsaber in the rain.  We don’t know where this is or what happened.  Rey sees someone coming towards her who looks like they are about to kill her, but instead gets killed by Kylo Ren.  When Kylo Ren starts stepping towards her, she gets scared and backs up, where the scene immediately shifts to a young Rey being left behind on Jakku with Unkar Plutt dragging her away.

My friend brought up this theory: what if Kylo Ren had, in fact, saved a young Rey (though we are seeing her as an adult) from another Knight of Ren?  That Knight of Ren could have been going to kill Rey as part of the massacre, but Kylo Ren steps in to save her.  He then takes her to Jakku where she is left behind, which would explain why it seems like Kylo Ren knows her.  Why would he save her? That’s the question.  Guilt?  Is he related to her?  If so – why wouldn’t Han recognize her?

When I previously thought about this scene, I thought Rey was seeing some insight into what happened when Kylo Ren turned to the dark side and those were all of Luke’s Jedi pupils.  I never thought about her actually being there, but the more I think about it, the more I like this theory and it seems to make sense.

2.The Force Vision/Artoo Shut Down

This is my theory and I have brought it up before, but it did become a discussion point again at the party.  In the Force vision, we see Luke put a hand on Artoo.  Artoo is clearly “awake” here and not in hibernation.  Is Luke shutting Artoo down and somehow using the Force to make sure the next time he awakes, it will be because of Rey?

This theory is a little far-fetched, but I keep coming back to it, because WHY are they showing Artoo in this vision?  It could be because Abrams wanted to keep Luke as hidden as possible until the end of the movie, but I also don’t think there were any throwaways in this movie.  They could have not had this scene if he wanted Luke to remain hidden.  Why show Artoo?

I believe Artoo was getting some kind of direction here and it is interesting that he is “awakened” just when Rey shows up on D’Qar.

Here’s a video of the Force vision for your reference:

3. Your favorite 15-20 minutes in Star Wars

This was a question someone asked at the end of the party.  What is your favorite 15-20 minutes out of all the Star Wars movies?

I thought that would be hard and there were scenes that flit across my brain very fast as I tried to think of something.  I thought of Amidala speaking to the senate (“I was not elected to watch my people suffer and die…”), I remembered Luke staring out at the binary sunset, I thought about Vader revealing he is Luke’s father, I thought about Rey rescuing BB-8, I remember Order 66, I remember Leia and Han’s exchange before he went into carbonite (“I love you!”  “I know.”), but then one part of the saga stood out to me the most.

My favorite scene in the Star Wars saga would be the end of Return of the Jedi.  Luke is trying to control his emotions but Vader gets to him when he realizes that Luke has a sister and says he will turn her to the dark side.  Luke loses it and goes after Vader with such hatred and bests him in their final lightsaber match.  He cuts of his hand in anger – only to hear the Emperor’s sinister laugh behind him.  The Emperor is sure of his victory; sure that Luke will take Vader’s place.  And then….Luke turns away from the dark side.  Seeing his own hand cut off, he turns to the Emperor and tells him:

You failed your highness.  I am a Jedi, like my father before me.

It makes me want to woop with joy every time I see that scene.  Talk about good triumphing over all!  Talk about doing the right thing even when you know it means death!  Aggggh that scene – everything about it: the lightsabers, the ominous music, the Emperor’s moment of triumph – only to have Luke come out on top and throw away his lightsaber.

The best.  That is, in my eyes, the best scene from the entire saga.


My party was wonderful and I had a great time.  It’s the perfect thing for me to look forward to since I’m not a fan of Valentine’s Day.  This is a way to celebrate my true love in a way that honors it.

I can’t wait until next year’s party.


Yup, I Did It!

I did it.  I got my first tattoo, and yes, it’s of the Rebel Insignia (after some research a while ago, I discovered it’s correctly known as the “Alliance Starbird” but no one knows it like that).

It’s an interesting story, and I almost didn’t get it done this weekend since the artist and I got in a huge fight right off the bat.  Really, most of it was my headstrong will refusing to acknowledge what he was saying and his frustration at me for being so stubborn.

I went in there with the picture and said, “I want this in complete black and about the size of a golf ball.”

“Nope, can’t do it,” he said.

“What?  Excuse me? What do you mean you can’t do it?”

“Well, for a few reasons but what you want is really boring.  Why would you want a completely filled in Rebel thingymajig from Star Wars?  It’s boring.”

I stared at him incredulously.  “I want that because that’s what I want.  It’s what I’ve wanted for 12ish years and I’m not about to change it now.”

“Well, your loss.  You do realize that this is a custom tattoo shop, right?  CUSTOM.  That means that we just don’t take anyone who walks off the street.  We work with you on your idea and make it something no one has seen before.”  He stares hard at me and I believe he’s trying to scare me with his completely tattooed face and body.  That just makes me more angry because I refuse to show I’m scared.

“But I don’t want anything else.  I just want this in black and on my ribs.” I sound like a parrot at this point, but it’s hard for me to wrap my head around something when I have another idea firmly lodged in my head.

“You know, I’d rather draw a Confederate flag than draw your boring Star Wars tattoo.  And that’s saying something because I hate Confederate flags.  Also, why do you want to hide your tattoo on your ribs?”

“Who cares if I want to hide my tattoo?  This is my decision, not yours.”  I turn to my husband, who at this point is trying to hide behind his SNAP Selling book.  “Should we find a new place, then?”

“Okay, really?  You don’t even want to hear me out on what I can do?  FINE.  Let’s do your dumb tattoo so I can get a move on with my life.”

There was a lot more said in this conversation, and a lot more swearing on his end, but I’m giving you an abridged version.

At this point, my husband finally steps in as he has seven tattoos and has been through this before.  “Hey, how about we all calm down a little bit?”  Turning to me, he says, “You should listen to the guy; he knows what he’s doing.  He’s the professional and just hear him out on what he can do for you before you disagree.”

Nettled, I looked down at my picture of a plain black Rebel Insignia.  Looking up, I tried to make my voice as kind as humanly possible in that moment and said, “Fine.  Let’s start over.  What can you do for me?”

With the ground even again, he proceeded to tell me how making a pure black tattoo would eventually bleed into itself over 20 years, especially in the size I wanted.  I would end up with a black dot in the future, and really, who wants that?  As an artist, his job is to tell me what works and what doesn’t, so a) it would have to be a little larger and b) it shouldn’t be all black.  (I still don’t know why he didn’t just tell me this straight off the bat.  My guess is that he could have, but I was just blocking out all opposition to what I wanted and therefore we ended up arguing.)

What he can do, he explained, is make the symbol have a rough, beat up look, almost like it had gone through battle on the helmet of an X-Wing pilot.  That way as your skin stretches as you age, the tattoo also ages better as well.

Now that we weren’t at each other’s throats, I was calm enough to wrap my head around what he was saying.

And I had to make a decision.  Do I take the plunge and get the tattoo as he suggested?  Or do I stick to my guns and go somewhere else to get what I had envisioned for these past 12 years?  I didn’t really like this guy, but his portfolio was amazing and his suggestion wasn’t half bad.

Well, you know what happened, but on Saturday, September 28th, I got my first (and probably last) tattoo.  I trusted him, even though I didn’t especially like him, and it came out really nice.  I mean – I’m pleased with it and that’s all that matters since it’s going to be on my body for the rest of my life.

Like my squished face? It was so hard to stay in that position for the entire time.

Like my squished face? It was so hard to stay in that twisted position for the entire time.

I’m not going to lie – it was painful on the ribs and it’s still slightly sore today.  I didn’t have any emotional moments throughout it being applied and I don’t have any regretful feelings now.  I already went through the emotional decision process earlier.  But once I make a decision, that’s it.  No more back-and-forth’s or should I, shouldn’t I moments.  At this point, my husband is more excited about it than I am.  He loves it and keeps asking to see it, which I think is adorable.

So, yup, I got it.

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