I cannot wake up
The despair overwhelms me
My husband, my babe
Yes, it’s confirmed – I’m on a Prequel kick. And thank you Mei-Mei for suggesting that for 2017, I do my haiku’s in first person form. This has provided a new, fresh, and interesting challenge for me.
I’ve never given much thought to Padmé during that time period where she is strangled by Anakin, falls unconscious, and then gives birth. She seems like she is struggling between two worlds during this time…as her body gives out and succumbs to death, her brain is struggling to come back to the world. It seemed like a battle to me; she is restless, yet wants to stay in oblivion.
I used this haiku to perhaps show the few things that might be going through her limited brain power. She can’t wake up, even if she tries, but all she probably feels is a crushing sense of despair, with instinct hanging on to her husband and baby.
Because of her sense of despair, she slowly begins to lose the will to wake up permanently. It’s always been hard for me to accept that Padmé gave up on life…there have been great articles written that have since swayed my opinion somewhat so I tried to relate to her more with this haiku.
Imagine having stress and an inkling of something not right for months, gnawing at you and eating away at your inside. She probably knew that something was changing within Anakin, even if she didn’t want to acknowledge it. In the deleted scenes within ROTS, we see that she was forming the beginning of the Rebellion without telling Anakin. Secrets and dishonesty have formed between them.
On top of that, she has kept her pregnancy secret for the most part with shapeless dresses. This constant hiding wears someone down.
Then it all blows up in her face. Her fears are confirmed: Anakin has changed, but her fears could not have prepared her for what actually happened. Anakin didn’t have political leanings that were so drastically different from her own – Anakin had turned to the dark side and had annihilated multiple Jedi, including ones younger than 10 years old. He had committed murder and did not seem to regret it. When she tries to rescue him and run away, he chokes her and causes her to lose consciousness…but keeps her alive. Barely.
I wouldn’t want to wake up and face reality either.
I believe that the twins were born prematurely. Maybe not months prematurely, but a few weeks before they were supposed to be born. The choking and distress caused Padmé’s body to shut down, but instinct forced her body to bear the children. Once that act was complete, Padmé had enough consciousness to tell Obi-Wan the names of her children (canon dictates she did not know she was bearing twins. Slightly unbelievable, I know) and to let him know that there was still some good in Anakin.
And then she did not want to face the world where she had born children to a monster. Despite that she knew in her heart that he still had good in him, she also knew she was not the one who would bring it forth. So instead, she succumbed to letting go of her life to let someone else fight that battle.
It’s still hard for me to accept, especially as a mother, but when I think through it very hard, a part of me gets it. Just a small part, but I’m slightly more sympathetic.
Does anyone else have alternative theories on why Padmé gave up?