Diary Posts From A Long, Long Time Ago

I was inspired a few months ago by Megan’s blog posts that included diary entries from 1999 and when The Phantom Menace premiered. It reminded me of when my own obsession began with Star Wars – also in 1999 and due to TPM.

I was 12 years old and though I had seen Star Wars previously, it had never spoken to me in quite the way it did with TPM. I’ve been through this before, so I won’t bore anyone with even more details.

When reading Megan’s posts, I couldn’t go back and dig out my diary because they were packed away for the move. I kind of forgot about doing a post on my past diary entries.

Then I was chatting with Imperial Talker two days ago and mentioned I had once written a Star Wars Anthem to the tune of our (US) national anthem. He encouraged me to dig it out and find it.

Since my diaries have been unpacked, I have finally received the motivation needed to sift through all the entries (I used to write A LOT when I was young!) and find some interesting Star Wars related ones to share.

I discovered that:

  1. I was seriously in love with Luke Skywalker,
  2. I loved to record dreams – and apparently I had a lot related to Star Wars,
  3. I could not spell Darth Vader correctly (I wrote it Vadar…novice mistake!),
  4. I did, indeed, make a song to our national anthem but it’s nowhere near as good as I remember it being in my head.

 

I know I was in love with Luke Skywalker but I don’t think I remember it the way I felt it in 1999. I always say that Luke Skywalker was one of

Yup, sums me up at age 12.

my “first crushes” but I’m trying to figure out what attracted me to him at a young age. I honestly don’t think it was inappropriate, but more like – I thought he was handsome, he could use magic (the Force), and he was down-to-the-soul good. He resisted evil and did what he thought was right. At that point in my life, I needed that a lot more than the bad boy Solo, whom I would end up understanding the appeal of when I got older. I didn’t include any photos of those diary entries because a) they’re weird, and b) they mostly consist of me saying “I love Luke Skywalker!!!!!!!!”

As for the dreams – funnily, I was talking about this with my sister the other day. So many people can’t remember their dreams. But I had gone on an interpretive dream kick when I was younger (now I know exactly how young! 12 and in 1999!) and made an effort to record all my dreams and try to decipher the meanings of them. Due to this obsessive habit that I had for months, I still remember almost all my dreams to this day. I could tell you exactly what I dreamed last night. It’s such a weird experiment I did that shows that when you do something persistently when you’re younger – it stays with you as you get older.

 

So without much further ado, here are a few good ones from 1999.

 

Dream Diary Entry #1 (I cut this one off in the middle because it had irrelevant stuff about school friends):

July 10, 1999

 

What I loved about reading this specific entry was that it brought back the feeling of the podracer to me. I don’t remember any other part of the dream – but I remember the feeling of driving in a podracer at age 30. And I remember waking up and wanting to dream it all over again. It was so real. Even 21 years later, I remember that podracing dream.

Oh and I love how I had to take a little dig at Jake Lloyd. Like “not even Jake Lloyd felt how I felt”…haha.

 

Dream Diary Entry #2:

September 6, 1999

 

Apparently I had to explain my actions on why Luke was holding my hand (we were married). Haha, I must have thought that was inappropriate to do otherwise!

In case anyone was wondering, Coober Pedy is an opal mining town in Australia. I had visited it the summer before (1998) and had fallen in love with the underground houses they had in the area. I thought it was so cool…and apparently my subconscious was still obsessed with it a year later.

 

Dream Diary Entry #3:

September 7, 1999

 

Not as interesting, but hey, Leia made an appearance! Sounds like she got shafted quite often.

 

Diary Entry #4, The Important Things in Life:

September 11, 1999

 

Is it all true? I still wonder. Did this all happen? Is Star Wars real? BURNING QUESTIONS I STILL ASK MYSELF TODAY.

But otherwise, this is clearly a momentous event. It sounds like I had been looking for his address for a while. For all the new people following my blog, I did end up writing to George Lucas and questioned some direction of his on TPM and hoping he would resolve the flow between the OT and the PT because thus far, there was not a lot of similarity. (Also, I used to name my diaries. This one was named Ariana Skywalker and I liked to write to the diary like it was a friend)

I never received a response from him, BUT his staff wrote back with a copy of Star Wars Insider and I’ve subscribed to the magazine for almost 20 years (other than the brief break in college when I had no money).

 

Diary Entry #5, the Star Wars Anthem:

September 8, 1999

I’ve held this song in my head as, like, the pinnacle of greatness. It’s kind of disappointing to look back and see, oh wait, it’s really not that good. Ah well. Looks like I had a lot of notes attached to one syllable. Guess I’ll never be a songwriter any time soon.

There you have it – a glimpse into my life when I became obsessed with Star Wars. I love that I was blogging about Star Wars before I knew what blogging was. What’s somewhat amusing about all this is that I thought I would have more entries related to TPM. But it seems like most focus is on the OT, with the exception of the podracer dream.

 

Are there any distinct childhood memories about Star Wars that you remember?

 

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It’s Time for the Jedi to End

I’m back. At least, I think I am. The move is done, we are (slowly) settling in and I’m beginning to enjoy life once more without feeling completely overwhelmed. We love our new neighborhood and new house…but goodness, we do not want to move ever again.

I watched the TLJ trailer another time and I began thinking about when Luke says, “It’s time for the Jedi to end.”

I’ve mentioned before here that I do not actually believe that line will have much context within the movie. I think that it’s more along the lines of what happened when Luke went to train with Yoda: Yoda did not want to train him and gave many excuses before accepting him. I think Rey will show up and ask to be trained, he will give the history of why he went into seclusion and tell her he believes the line of Jedi should end with himself as he no longer wants to train future Jedi. (But he’ll be convinced to train Rey because she is awesome)

It got me thinking, however.

What if there were no Jedi? Kind of like how we were made to believe in ANH, but even more so.

What if we started with a blank slate with the Force? What would the galaxy look like?

Current canon is stuck in a bit of a rut as they try to figure out how to create an explanation of the Force that fits with the Original Trilogy and the Prequels. In the OT, Obi-Wan explains the Force as,

..an energy field created by all living things. It surrounds us and penetrates us; it binds the galaxy together.

We then jump to the Prequel Trilogy and have Qui-Gon explaining to us a scientific reason for the Force: there are a bunch of cells-within-cells (midi-chlorians) that are intelligent and work with the Force, which then allows some beings to access the Force’s powers if they are more sensitive to the Force.

Here’s where the explanation gets a bit murky. When trying to combine both of these understandings, you are left with questions of:

  1. Can anyone access the Force and does everyone have some form of midi-chlorians within themselves, or
  2. Do some beings not have any midi-chlorians at all, or
  3. If everyone has midi-chlorians, is it possible to have a high count and not be Force-sensitive?

Because looking at the OT explanation, we see that the Force was in all living things – this included nature. And the PT explanation is not specific enough to tell us if every single being has midi-chlorians residing within themselves.

The way I interpret it is (and I believe this is correct from what I’ve read online) that everyone has midi-cholorians within them but not everyone can access them to use the Force. Some people have more midi-chlorians and some have less. Those that have a lot, or more, tend to be Force sensitive and channel it’s powers even if they don’t know what they are doing.

The perfect example of this would be Anakin when we met him in TPM. As we know, he had the highest midi-chlorian count known at that point, yet he was still able to harness it and see things before they happen, though he never had formal training. It made him a good podracer.

If this is what we are working off of, the example of someone like Anakin at age 9, what would happen if there were no Jedi and no Sith in the galaxy?

It’s an interesting thought that I’ve been mulling over in my head the past few weeks.

Would the galaxy instead be controlled by beings who have the Force and not know it (but have an inkling)? Would they use their power to manipulate and control those around them and make their way to the top of the government through coercion? Would the entire government be held by Force users who would either use their power for good or evil?

If only certain people were Force sensitive, where would it take them? Not everyone would want to be in the government.

Would it turn into anarchy, with those using the Force for good or evil but not knowing how or why they had those special abilities?

Or, would there be those few who figure it out and create something like an Order anyway – and perhaps inevitably it would turn into light and dark side factions?

 

Knowing what we do about the galaxy, what do you think would happen if there were actually no Jedi or Sith but the Force existed?

Haiku Me Friday! Need my ice cream!

I need my ice cream
Even with my world ending
I can’t be without

When I took my husband to SWCA in 2015, he was alternately bemused and bored through most of the convention. However, he thought the Running of the Hoods was one of the funniest things he had ever seen.

When the Hoods came dashing through the floor and continued outside with everyone following their tail taking pictures, he was so baffled and knew it had to be an “inside” thing.

So I explained to him about the random guy running through Cloud City with an ice cream maker and how (of course) Star Wars fans noticed this, thought it was hilarious, and created an annual tradition at Celebrations around this, complete with cosplaying the character.

This “random guy” in ESB has a name of Willrow Hood. According to canon, he is not actually carrying an ice cream maker, but the computer’s memory core. But that’s not half as fun is it?

I think what really happened is that he has his priorities straight. I’m sure we’ve all thought – at some point in our lives – what would grab out of our house if it was on fire? Besides loved ones, what is the one item we’d grab? For Willrow Hood, it was ice cream. You never know if you’re going to get ice cream in other parts of the galaxy, right? Or maybe other ice cream just wasn’t as good.

So here’s to all the silly fans out there, the ones who invent events like the Running of the Hoods and create traditions that give me warm fuzzy feelings. I raise my glass to you!

And who knows? Perhaps one day I’ll convince my husband to cosplay as Willrow Hood.

 

So Love Has Blinded You?

Over the past week I have come to the realization that if I connect with a character in a deep and meaningful way in a Star Wars movie, I become blind to almost all the other flaws within the movie.

I came to this realization primarily with two movies of the Saga:

  1. The Phantom Menace
  2. The Force Awakens

 

The Phantom Menace

 

With the Phantom Menace, my obsession is with Qui-Gon Jinn. Qui-Gon opened up a world to me that didn’t exist prior to the Prequels, and more specifically, the world of the Jedi as a functioning unit/organization.

I loved it. But it was peculiar because I loved Qui-Gon and didn’t care about any of the other Jedi on the Council or within the movie. Obi-Wan generated a shrug and “whatever” attitude from me, but I was obsessed with Qui-Gon.

I think the reason is two-fold: 1) Qui-Gon is a Jedi so therefore he follows some kind of moral compass , but 2) he is not on the council because he does not completely follow the Code and that is deliberate because he marches to the beat of his own drum.

I adored everything Qui-Gon said and did in The Phantom Menace…and I still do. I don’t understand why people dislike TPM because I’m blinded by the fact that Qui-Gon is in the movie and takes the movie to the next level.

There are flaws in TPM though, just like any other movie but there are glaring issues. I never realized this until this weekend when I saw that I have the same predicament with The Force Awakens.

Here are what I believe are the main issues with TPM. Correct me if I’m wrong, I’m only just coming to these realizations this weekend when I tried to take an objective look at the movie.

  1. The characters. If you’re a fan who grew up with the OT, the characters of TPM seem stale, lacking in warmth and connection, and they are not relatable. Whereas with the OT, we can kind of see ourselves in each of the three heroes shoes, with the PT, unless perhaps you followed a political career path, the characters seem less at ease and more distant. And don’t get people started on Jar Jar Binks (though I don’t really mind him but can understand why some people do).
  2. The politics. I have noticed this one before and have written about it. The movie is bogged down in politics to the point that it may become suffocating for some people. There is no simple (or even really linear) plot as everything is shrouded under Trade Federations, senate issues, etc.
  3. Droids. The droids were not as menacing as they should have been. The Destroyers did the job well but the Battle Droids came off comical. Where’s the fear that people had of the Empire? It’s not there in TPM, in fact, other than Darth Maul, there’s no real fear of the Trade Federation.
  4. No greater cause. With the OT, it felt like they Rebels were fighting for something real and a greater cause for the galaxy. In TPM, that essence is missing. There’s no overarching big bad guy to fight.

 

I’m only trying to play devil’s advocate here as many of you know how much I love TPM. It was the first Star Wars movie I saw in theaters and I thought it was amazing. I love that the main character is a child and there are numerous GOOD things about the movie.

But, I also came to realize that when digging deep on why I like TPM it all comes back to Qui-Gon. I blabber on about the Old Republic and the Jedi, but at my core, it’s all about Qui-Gon. He has blinded me to faults within TPM.

 

The Force Awakens

 

I had a very interesting Twitter discussion this weekend with other Star Wars fans. I learned that most hardcore fans are NOT looking forward to the Han Solo movie (this was also slightly confirmed in blog comments from last Friday). On top of that, what I thought was a minority of fans dissatisfied with Disney and the new movies, it’s actually a lot larger and the frustration runs a lot deeper than I had originally assumed.

I know there are people who did not enjoy The Force Awakens and as I was (am) a lot older when I saw TFA vs. TPM, I’m more aware of the issues in present time, instead of finding out years later.

However, I have a similar issue with TFA that I did with TPM: I love Rey. I love her more than I love Qui-Gon. She’s a female character who is relatable, but she can also fight and use the Force. She is strong without falling into a stereotype of a bland, physically strong female protagonist who has no emotion. I loved the character so much that I named my daughter with Rey as her middle name.

People bring to my attention all kinds of flaws with TFA and I have been able to argue or rationalize all the problems. I try to convince people that the movie is actually quite good and they are being bullheaded. But is the movie good? Or is my love for Rey blinding my love for the movie?

Tweeting this weekend with other fans made me take a step back and realize that TFA has some pretty major flaws.

  1. Too similar to A New Hope. This is obvious and even I couldn’t deny this one. The movie practically copies ANH in every way possible, to the point that even my beloved main character comes from a desert planet. Really? Starkiller Base is a bigger, badder Death Star…that gets blown up by the Resistance. Resistance sounds too similar to Rebellion. At least the Empire got a makeover in their name.
  2. Our 3 main heroes never get screen time. If you are going to go to such lengths to copy ANH and pay homage to the movie, why didn’t you give our 3 heroes some screen time together? If everyone survived, we could have maybe hoped for a reunion further down but that has been revoked with Solo’s death and the real death of Carrie Fisher.
  3. Politics…or lack thereof. Whereas TPM delved into politics TOO much, TFA goes in the extreme opposite direction where we have no understanding of the current political climate. At least within ANH we had some mumbles about the Imperial Senate and we understood Empire vs. Rebellion. In TFA there was Republic, a Resistance, and a First Order…but the First Order sounds kind of small? Or is it large? And is the First Order now the opposition group, like the Rebellion was?
  4. Too much convenience. Rey learns to use the Force very quickly. Artoo wakes up at the most convenient time. Luke/Anakin’s lightsaber magically appears at the right moment with no explanation of where it came from. There’s a certain amount of suspension of disbelief that you can accept when you see a movie, especially one in the sci-fi category, but TFA leaped and jumped over that line. Perhaps we will get all the explanations later, but if not, this is a glaring problem.

 

I have stood up to people’s complaints about TFA just as I did with TPM, but this weekend, I had to admit and accept that both movies have a lot of flaws. Would I love TPM or TFA as much if Qui-Gon and Rey were not in them? That’s where I bite my lip and think…no, probably not.

Qui-Gon was not in Attack of the Clones or Revenge of the Sith and I do not enjoy the movies as much as I enjoy TPM. I actually reallllly don’t like AOTC and I enjoy ROTS but it’s not something I usually pull out to watch at odd times like I do with TPM.

With the future Sequel Movies, I get nervous that they won’t capture Rey’s essence as well as they did in TFA. I worry that there will be no character development or that she will become the Hollywood stereotype of a “strong female character” instead of, well, just, Rey. At least there is hope for The Last Jedi and Episode IX, whereas the Prequels are over and done with.

 

Tell me – have you ever loved a character (any movie, doesn’t have to be Star Wars) so much that it’s blinded you to shortcomings in the movie?

Haiku Me Friday! Taking a Brief Look at Han Solo (and a rant about recent movie news)

Will we get through this?
Such a ridiculous scheme
Let’s hope my luck holds

I like Han Solo, but I was never in love with him like other fans seemed to be. I see the appeal – he’s confident (or cocky depending on how you look at it), got a badass streak, and is very handsome.

(In my opinion, that’s a recipe for a disaster if you fall in love with someone like that.)

Yet Han has a lot of experience in getting out of trouble. You can’t be a good smuggler without being able to get out of tight spots and talk your way out of sticky situations.

So how did he feel about taking on this mission to Alderaan, only to be trapped in the Death Star and trying to get out? Rescuing a princess wasn’t part of the original bargain either. I wonder if he stumbled along, desperately hoping that something changes and his luck continues to pull through. I feel like you can sense Luke’s desperation in those scenes, along with a bit of Leia’s frustration and angst as she tries to organize all four of them into some semblance of a small mission.

But Han? He clearly gets annoyed at Leia and thinks Luke is too green, but his confident swagger never changes. The only doubt we see him show is in relying on Obi-Wan to disable the tractor beam. Though Han likes to “fly casual”, I’m sure leaving such a big part of this impromptu operation to someone he barely knows and thinks is slightly crazy is difficult for him.

The funny thing is – I feel like Han Solo is one of those characters that we know the least amount of information on. And I like that! A lot. He manages to get his way out of most situations because, well, he’s Han Solo. Part of the joy of his character is that we don’t need to delve into who he is, as we do with Luke and Leia. He’s a steady character that we definitely see changes within, but he’s a supporting character. Though people may argue differently as Solo is part of the original three heroes, he’s still not the main story line as the main story line follows the Skywalkers .

(Now I’m going to go on a rant. I did not expect this so I apologize in advance.)

It bothers me that we are getting a Han Solo standalone movie because I’d rather his history not be explained, like Yoda. The latest news of the directors being fired and replaced by Ron Howard makes me cringe. I thought the one saving grace of this Solo movie was the directors: Phil Lord and Chris Miller. They know how to do funny, and sometimes quirky, comedy. I thought this could be an interesting twist on a movie. You can look at Disney as either a Sith Lord or Jedi Master, but either way, they are holding the reins tightly on the new Star Wars franchise (sounds so weird to even call it a “franchise”) and I know what happened. Lord and Miller were probably too used to having creative freedom on the set to do what they want and Kathleen Kennedy needs to have the last word. And last sentence. And last paragraph.

While I appreciate that in some instances and I understand the delicate line Disney is walking, I disagree completely with a Han Solo movie. Therefore, if you are going to make a movie that I have yet to hear any fans be excited about (if any of you are out there – please pipe up!), let’s have it be creative. Let’s have it be different. If it’s a flop, then oh well. It’s not like a flop is going to stop Disney from churning out more Star Wars movies. They’ll still make money. Ron Howard is as different of a director as you’re going to get.

So where does this bring us with the Han Solo movie? Maybe I’ll be pleasantly surprised? I went in expecting to enjoy Rogue One but instead was really let down. Maybe if I go into the Solo movie expecting a horrible movie, I’ll enjoy it instead.

Or not.

I wish I could see the movie Lord and Miller were going to create. I’ll probably be forever wishing I saw it.

 

Over and out. MTFBWY on this summer weekend.