Haiku Me Friday! I can’t relate to Obi-Wan

The pain sears through me
I’m filled with horror and shock
I thought I knew him

I can’t imagine what Obi-Wan went through when he realized that Anakin was the one who killed the Jedi in the Temple. There are times, even though this is in a galaxy far away, where I can somewhat relate to the characters.

I relate to Luke staring out at the sunset and yearning for something more. I relate to Padmé’s drive to believe the good in her husband. I relate to Leia’s decisive personality. I relate to Rey’s loyalty to her friends. I relate to Finn’s lies to cover up who he really is.

But I cannot relate to Obi-Wan when he finds out that Anakin has turned to the dark side. Not only turned to the dark side, but killed numerous in Jedi in the temple. In fact, when I think about it, there are very few moments that I do relate to Obi-Wan throughout the saga. I can understand why he is some people’s favorite character, but he’s not mine. The only moment I have ever been able to relate to Obi-Wan is when he is arguing with Qui-Gon about training Anakin. I’m a stickler for rules, so I understand his pushback to Qui-Gon’s stubbornness.

Yet, this betrayal of Anakin to Obi-Wan goes deeper than many of us have ever experienced or will experience. When thinking about the feelings he must feel, the only thing that may come close is if I found out my husband was cheating on me with multiple women and then murdered them all. Gruesome, right? I don’t even like thinking about it but it was the closest train of thought I could go down that might possibly provide the same feelings.

Not only is Anakin’s betrayal a betrayal of the Jedi and a way of life, he was also his best friend. He was someone whom he trusted and loved. And this trust is different from a trust that you or I might have with a friend – they were in situations where they constantly trusted each other with their lives.

I always watch their last exchange before Anakin turned with a pang of sadness. Watch it one more time:

When Obi-Wan says, “Goodbye, old friend,” is the Force that speaks through him that gives him a touch of foreshadowing?

And what about Anakin’s looks? He apologizes for his behavior but as Obi-Wan leaves, is that … defiance? Anger simmering below? Resentment? Conflict? There’s something there and I can’t quite put my finger on it.

Obi-Wan leaves with kind, wise words of encouragement in their last conversation. This is his last impression of Anakin before Order 66. It’s so painful. He truly, really believes in Anakin, which is what makes this scene of realization hard to watch. Yoda understands right away, but Obi-Wan does not want to. The denial is there. “Who could have done this?” he asks Yoda as they walk through the temple. Yet, as they continue their walk through and recalibrate the code, he knows. How he knows, I’m not entirely sure. The Force, most likely.

And I can’t imagine how he feels when it’s confirmed. I know there are people in this world who have suffered atrocities at the hands of loved ones, and perhaps they can watch this scene with greater understanding. I am lucky enough that I hope to never, ever relate to Obi-Wan in this scene.

 

How have you processed this scene? Can you relate to Obi-Wan (no need to share)? Have you ever had a good friend betray you in an irrevocable way?

 

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Haiku Me Friday! Luke crosses the threshold in The Hero’s Journey

They’re gone. Both of them.
Cruelly murdered for two droids
The shifts of change come

I have always found the scene where Luke rushes back home to find Aunt Beru and Uncle Owen murdered by the Empire to be so interesting. My main reason for thinking this is it’s such a SMALL scene but it changes the entire movie. For your info, the scene is about 13 seconds.

Yet this scene is the step from Luke’s “ordinary world” into the “supernatural world” and as such, it plays a pivotal role in his journey.

George Lucas drew a lot from Joseph Campbell’s The Hero with a Thousand Faces when he created Star Wars. You can see that he almost follows it to a T in A New Hope, where Luke is defined as the Hero.

In the above image, you can follow the beginning of Luke’s journey in ANH. You see that this scene, though short in length, is the moment when Luke “crosses the threshold”.

We have been introduced to Luke on Tatooine, his ordinary world. His call to adventure begins with rumblings to his Uncle about leaving the farm (and the deleted scene with Biggs). Lucas then switches up the order and has Luke meet his mentor, Old Ben, first and then Luke refuses the call. It is plainly spelled out as Obi-Wan asks Luke to journey with him to Alderaan and Luke says no, due to responsibilities on the moisture farm.

Luke is a “good kid” and refuses because he doesn’t want to leave his Uncle without his help, though deep down he wants to leave. How can this problem be solved? The responsibility is taken away from him when the stormtroopers burn the farm and murder his Uncle and Aunt. This enables him to cross the threshold and journey to Alderaan to rescue the Princess.

At times, when I watch this scene, I’m baffled by how short it is and the way Luke reacts. For being raised by these folks since he was a few days old, Luke shows more sorrow over Obi-Wan dying later in the film than his guardians. But…

Here’s where we have to separate Star Wars the story versus Star Wars the film. Lucas did not have the luxury to spend a lot of time with Luke mulling over his aunt and uncle’s death and what to do next. This was no Rivendell, where Frodo got to relax, recover, spend time with friends, and make decisions about the future. ANH had to keep moving and this scene was only used as a pivot point. The Mentor is much more important in the hero’s journey, which is why we see Luke more visibly upset over Obi-Wan’s death.

Does it actually make sense in a human relational context? Not really. Does it make more sense in propelling a movie forward? Yes, totally. So Lucas gives us “tragic Luke” where the wind is ruffling his hair and you can see pain, but then quickly moves on because now that Luke has crossed the threshold, the storyline can pick up the pace.

If you are interested in The Hero’s Journey with other Star Wars characters, let me know. Tricia Barr did some analysis articles in Insider where she went into depth about The Hero’s Journey with different characters.  I’d be happy to take photos and send your way.

And finnnnalllly, I’M TAKING VACATION NEXT WEEK. And the big deal about this is that I’m not really going anywhere. It’s a staycation and I haven’t done a staycation since…2012 (maternity leave definitely doesn’t count). I’m so looking forward to sleeping in my own bed with no real responsibilities, not worrying about too much, and puttering around.

I’m checking out until after Labor Day, so until then – May the Force be with you.

Haiku Me Friday! Podracing

The wind in my hair
I fly by the flat, still sands
Here, I am at home

Prior to this year, I had a daily Star Wars calendar where I flipped each day off and saw something new. It was so fun and some years were better than others, but it was always a highlight of my day. I didn’t get one this year for the simple fact that I didn’t get one for Christmas. It makes my Christmas request list every year and I meant to go buy it myself when I didn’t receive it and I forgot.

The point of this is that these pictures were always what inspired my haiku’s on Fridays. Whatever picture landed on a Friday, that’s what I would end up writing about.

Since I don’t have it this year, instead I make sure to listen to every single Star Wars soundtrack on shuffle on Spotify on Friday’s. When I pull open my blog post, whatever track I’m listening to is what I write about.

Right now, it’s the marching music as they lead the flags out in front of the podracers.

It’s a little coincidental that I am writing about podracing when I had written about my younger diary entries yesterday with the specific podracing dream. OR MAYBE IT’S THE FORCE GUIDING ME. Yes, I like that explanation better.

 

The memories of that dream, which some parts are still so vivid almost 20 years later, made me think about if I have a happy place in my life right now.

Anakin was at home when he was flying. He had never flown a ship before so he had to settle on flying podracers. He had Jedi reflexes which helped him, as no other human had the knack for them.

I realized while thinking about this that Anakin is the only character that we see in the Prequel Trilogy that drives and flies ships consistently. He is close matched to Obi-Wan, but usually it’s Anakin that takes the wheel if they’re together. We rarely see Padmé fly on her own, though we know she can.

In some ways, Anakin reminds me of my husband. He loves his car, it’s everything to him and he is constantly detailing it out in our driveway. He notices the slightest scratch or paint transfer, and God forbid if it has swirl marks! My husband loves doing nothing better than getting in the car and “just go for a drive”. (Whereas I’m sitting there silently freaking out because … I mean … there’s no destination? What? This is SO not organized)

Anakin, too, took meticulous care of his podracer that he built from scratch. He handled other ships with care and you could tell that he did not damage them unless his life depended on it.

One of my favorite moments in The Phantom Menace is when he’s flying the N-1 Starfighter and shouts, “Now this is podracing!” While others saw it as a corny line, I saw it as a line of pure happiness and a boy confident and at home in what he was doing.

Where is the podracing moment in my life? Where is yours? Do we have one? Or is it something some of us lose as we get older?

 

Haiku Me Friday! A pivotal scene and the need to control

The hatred flows through
They took her away from us
My anguish blinds me

As much as I have trouble enjoying Attack of the Clones and finding moments to like about it, I do enjoy the part when Anakin goes in search of her mother, kills the Sand People and cries about it to Padmé.

It’s this tense chase we are on with him and I think Lucas does a great job of NOT showing us Anakin killing the sandpeople. As an audience, we are put in suspense until he reveals to Padmé that he did, in fact, kill them all. To make matters hit home, the fact that Anakin killed both the women and children as well was deftly played by Lucas.

I think it was hard to feel sorry for the Sand People and hard to connect with them as a species. We never see them doing anything interesting; much less have feelings towards them one way or another. For the most part, the Sand People were annoying to me. They always showed up at an inconvenient moment as a plot point to spur the movie along. In fact, they are kind of like savage animals.

Yet, by having Anakin kill the entire village of sandpeople, and confess to doing the unthinkable by killing the women and children, we now feel pity.

Who kills women and children?

Even in war, it’s deplorable, almost everyone can agree to that. It’s part of what makes the bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki so heart wrenching. There were thousands of innocent people living in those cities. On top of being innocent people, there were women and children – the future.

By killing the Sand People’s women and children, Anakin is preventing further life, preventing the future. And with that, George Lucas spins how we feel about the Sand People. Anakin says “They are like animals. And I slaughtered them like animals. I hate them!” Yet, now we feel pity and sadness, which brings the Sand People to a human status.

We also feel foreboding towards Anakin’s actions. This anger and rage comes from his feeling of powerlessness. He wants to control everything around him, including death. How can you control death? It is the one certainty in life – that everyone dies. Yet Anakin does not want to accept that.

If you watch Padmé’s face during this scene, you can see that she has fear. What has happened to Anakin? Who kills women and children? Why can’t he understand that it was out of his control and that Shmi’s death was not his fault?

Shmi’s death is a turning point in Anakin. He always feared loss, even in TPM when Yoda points it out to him. When Shmi dies, and then he has dreams about Padmé’s death in ROTS, it spurs him to use his hate and anger to try and channel it into what he thinks is something good.

Shmi’s death and this scene is so important to the entire saga. I often overlook it due to my frustration with AOTC but it shapes Anakin as a character and is a pivotal step for the Skywalker story.

I, too, can be a control freak. I like everything to be just right and when something disrupts my schedule or plans, I don’t deal with it well. I think most of the arguments I have with my husband come from when I have something in my mind of how it should go, and he has something different, and I have a hard time being flexible.

In some ways, it’s a good thing. My control helps me be extremely organized which helps me run my business, keep my daughter at home most of the time, and be a wife.

Yet the need for constant control seeps into a lot of our daily lives. I believe the need for control does stem from fear. Fear of losing control, but a deeper level, fear of not looking like I have it “all together” or that I’m easily handling everything. It’s a fear of loss, though different from Anakin’s. It’s a fear of losing face, in some ways. I think having a child has made it better (they really are unpredictable!) but now I have new aspects to try and control which raises stress levels.

 

Do you or do you know anyone who are controlling? Who has fears that drives them to dangerous points like Anakin? Or, honestly, do you have any advice for me or others similar to myself?

Haiku Me Friday! The soulful eyes

Here we go again
Will you love me or hate me?
Big eyes draw you in

Hi all! It’s me! I swear I’m around but we’ve been packing up and moving our house which is…no small feat. Most of my energy has been centered on that which has left whatever remaining energy I have directed to my business and family. This blog has taken the back seat, but you know – once everything settles down, I’ll be writing again.

I did, of course, watch the new TLJ behind-the-scenes trailer and have been keeping up with any D23 news that came out and am now waiting to see if anything comes out at SDCC (word is we won’t get much, but the costume info was a small bit).

I enjoy behind-the-scenes trailers more than real trailers. I remember when the TFA bts trailer came out at SDCC and I went through frame by frame to glean any information that I could. I didn’t do this with TLJ, but I did watch it a few times through and…

Those porgs.

First of all, they are so adorable and cute! I’m not going to deny it. Kinda furry, looks like they waddle and they have big, soulful eyes. I can see why the internet is calling the Furby’s.

But…Star Wars has a funny history with cute elements as I discussed only a few months ago when I rehashed the Ewok hate again. Fans get so worked up and there are such polarizing views on them.

I love the Ewoks. I think they send a good message: small beings you think may be beneath your notice have more strength and courage than you think.

I am neutral but sometimes dislike Jar Jar Binks. I can’t figure out Jar Jar. The Ewoks were definitely cute. I think Jar Jar was an attempt to be cute but it did not come off as intended.

The information we know about Porgs is that they live on Ahch-To, they build nests, and they can fly. Oh, and their babies are called Porglets (so fascinating (sarcasm)).

This is where it gets tricky. My hope is that the Porgs stay almost as a background creature where you think – aw they’re kinda cute but they don’t have too much of a role in saving the universe. I’m not sure why I feel like this, since I love the Ewoks. I believe some of the reason is that I consider BB-8 enough of a cute factor in this new Sequel Trilogy that if we push the cuteness TOO far, it’ll be an annoyance more than anything. (Imagine if a Porg ends up traveling with Rey when she leaves Ahch-To? It’ll be like every single Disney princess movie out there with the main female character and her trusty animal friend sidekick.)

Honestly, I don’t believe they’ll play a big role. Disney has a pattern with TFA and RO where they show these cool creatures and aliens in previews and then they’re on screen for about a millisecond – and that’s what I think they’re doing with the Porgs.

Yet, at the end of this, I totally am welcoming of these Porgs. But mostly because I want a stuffed animal one for ARM’s room. 🙂

 

Anyone got any other thoughts about the TLJ behind-the-scenes trailer? I’m looking forward to the casino scene!