My Love For Star Wars in a Party

When I was 11, I received my first copy of Star Wars Insider from Lucasfilm after writing a letter to George Lucas (I did not get reply from him, alas).  Within the issue, they had a section where they printed letters from fans and readers.  One letter started out as:

Dear Insider,

I have been a Star Wars fan for over 20 years…

That sentence has stuck with me throughout my life.  Why?  Because family and friends thought I was going through a “fad” or “stage” in life with my Star Wars obsession.  And there is nothing that irks me more, even at that young age, than people thinking I’ll grow out of something or won’t like something as much in a while.  I saw that sentence and thought, “I want to be a Star Wars fan for over 20 years as well.”

I haven’t reached 20 years, but I’m currently at 18 years.  Actually, technically I’m over 20 years if you count when I first saw Star Wars, but I only count the age when I became obsessed as the starting point in my Star Wars journey.

Throughout this journey I have:

Yup, that Star Wars party happened this past weekend.  Why?  Because what better time to celebrate my true love than around Valentine’s Day?

I know “first annual” is an oxymoron of sorts, but I wanted to make it clear that this is something that will be continual on a yearly basis.  Due to some bad weather the day before, we only had seven people show up (12 RSVP’d as a yes) but I was more than happy with that!  This was blue_milkthe greatest party I could ever throw, in my opinion.

And, oh the discussions!  It was so wonderful to sit with friends, drink some wine and blue milk (yes, I had some blue milk and Yoda soda), watch a Star Wars movie, and discuss Star Wars for four hours.  Heaven.

What movie did we watch?  Ah, the suspense!  No one knew until they showed up and there was a prize for those who guessed correctly.  Surprisingly, there were a lot of ROTS guesses, which I thought was very strange.

But the movie I chose was The Force Awakens for two reasons: 1) In honor of my daughter, whom I hope will grow to be like Rey, and 2) It was the one movie I had not seen and discussed with a lot of my friends.

To reiterate: the discussions!  I have missed talking about Star Wars and guessing what will be coming next with good friends.  Here were my favorite discussions that happened during the party…please chime in with any thoughts you might have as well.

1. The Force Vision/Knights of Ren

When Rey touches Luke’s lightsaber on Takodona, there a bunch of scenes that go by very quickly.  One of them involves what looks like a knights-of-renmassacre by the Knights of Ren, with Kylo leading them with a lightsaber in the rain.  We don’t know where this is or what happened.  Rey sees someone coming towards her who looks like they are about to kill her, but instead gets killed by Kylo Ren.  When Kylo Ren starts stepping towards her, she gets scared and backs up, where the scene immediately shifts to a young Rey being left behind on Jakku with Unkar Plutt dragging her away.

My friend brought up this theory: what if Kylo Ren had, in fact, saved a young Rey (though we are seeing her as an adult) from another Knight of Ren?  That Knight of Ren could have been going to kill Rey as part of the massacre, but Kylo Ren steps in to save her.  He then takes her to Jakku where she is left behind, which would explain why it seems like Kylo Ren knows her.  Why would he save her? That’s the question.  Guilt?  Is he related to her?  If so – why wouldn’t Han recognize her?

When I previously thought about this scene, I thought Rey was seeing some insight into what happened when Kylo Ren turned to the dark side and those were all of Luke’s Jedi pupils.  I never thought about her actually being there, but the more I think about it, the more I like this theory and it seems to make sense.

2.The Force Vision/Artoo Shut Down

This is my theory and I have brought it up before, but it did become a discussion point again at the party.  In the Force vision, we see Luke put a hand on Artoo.  Artoo is clearly “awake” here and not in hibernation.  Is Luke shutting Artoo down and somehow using the Force to make sure the next time he awakes, it will be because of Rey?

This theory is a little far-fetched, but I keep coming back to it, because WHY are they showing Artoo in this vision?  It could be because Abrams wanted to keep Luke as hidden as possible until the end of the movie, but I also don’t think there were any throwaways in this movie.  They could have not had this scene if he wanted Luke to remain hidden.  Why show Artoo?

I believe Artoo was getting some kind of direction here and it is interesting that he is “awakened” just when Rey shows up on D’Qar.

Here’s a video of the Force vision for your reference:

3. Your favorite 15-20 minutes in Star Wars

This was a question someone asked at the end of the party.  What is your favorite 15-20 minutes out of all the Star Wars movies?

I thought that would be hard and there were scenes that flit across my brain very fast as I tried to think of something.  I thought of Amidala speaking to the senate (“I was not elected to watch my people suffer and die…”), I remembered Luke staring out at the binary sunset, I thought about Vader revealing he is Luke’s father, I thought about Rey rescuing BB-8, I remember Order 66, I remember Leia and Han’s exchange before he went into carbonite (“I love you!”  “I know.”), but then one part of the saga stood out to me the most.

My favorite scene in the Star Wars saga would be the end of Return of the Jedi.  Luke is trying to control his emotions but Vader gets to him when he realizes that Luke has a sister and says he will turn her to the dark side.  Luke loses it and goes after Vader with such hatred and bests him in their final lightsaber match.  He cuts of his hand in anger – only to hear the Emperor’s sinister laugh behind him.  The Emperor is sure of his victory; sure that Luke will take Vader’s place.  And then….Luke turns away from the dark side.  Seeing his own hand cut off, he turns to the Emperor and tells him:

You failed your highness.  I am a Jedi, like my father before me.

It makes me want to woop with joy every time I see that scene.  Talk about good triumphing over all!  Talk about doing the right thing even when you know it means death!  Aggggh that scene – everything about it: the lightsabers, the ominous music, the Emperor’s moment of triumph – only to have Luke come out on top and throw away his lightsaber.

The best.  That is, in my eyes, the best scene from the entire saga.

 

My party was wonderful and I had a great time.  It’s the perfect thing for me to look forward to since I’m not a fan of Valentine’s Day.  This is a way to celebrate my true love in a way that honors it.

I can’t wait until next year’s party.

Haiku Me Friday! Opening crawl

New name: TLJ Mere seconds from TFA Will there be a crawl?

New name: TLJ
Mere seconds from TFA
Will there be a crawl?

Since we know that The Last Jedi takes place right after The Force Awakens, do you think there will be an opening crawl?  Or will that be cut out?

Haiku Me Friday! BB-8 Stole My Heart

The soccer ball droid Orange and white bouncing ball Emotions are clear

The soccer ball droid
Orange and white bouncing ball
Emotions are clear

Shout out to my favorite droid!

I felt a little guilty the day I realized BB-8 was my favorite droid, which in all honesty could’ve been when I saw the first TFA preview ever, way back on Thanksgiving of two years ago.   The way he was rolling along Jakku’s surface, a blur of orange on white, made me think, “A soccer ball droid!  So cute!”

But everyone loves Artoo!  Artoo is the fan favorite and I get it, but for some reason I never connected with him.  I think one of the main reasons is that Artoo was familiar to me by cultural context – I knew who he was before knowing who he was.  Just like I knew the quotes “I am your father”, Darth Vader, the Force and a few other Star Wars references before seeing the movies or becoming a big fan.  So though Artoo was cute, he was, well, Artoo Detoo.  Always there.

But BB-8 was a surprise for me.  A round droid?  How genius!  And then when I actually heard him for the first time in TFA, my heart stopped.  BB-8: we were meant to be!  I want my own BB-8 so badly.  I love how he portrays his emotions, especially when he thought Poe had died.  When he sees Poe is alive and goes to greet him – aggggghhhh I’m jealous!  I want BB-8 to greet me like that.  Oh and don’t even get into his flame thumbs up.  Melting heart…

I know you are all wondering now if I have the Sphero BB-8…I do not.  I’m not sure what I would do with it.  Plus, our dog Yogi would probably have a field day with it and BB-8 would quickly become BB-ate.

My husband did get me a BB-8 carry on last year for Christmas even before I saw TFA because I liked the droid so much.  I love my carry on!  He comes with me on every vacation and I love posting photos on Instagram saying “Come on BB-8!” just like Rey.  It’s the small pleasures in life, okay guys??  ARM also had an adorable BB-8 dress (and Darth Amethystos christened her Baby-8) but she’s too big for it now, alas.

Okay.  Done effusing about BB-8.  But tell me – who’s your favorite droid?  Let’s have a droid lovefest.

bb-8-peeking-out

Taken From Birth

A lot of my thoughts have lately been around my child (obviously) who is now three months old and how much they really do take over your life.  While the first eight weeks felt stagnant and like I was pouring in energy and getting nothing back, I now see changes each and every day and feel like she is growing so fast.

The first eight weeks was tough.  Yeah, it was really tough.  I began to think about how they did it in a galaxy far, far away.  Did they have droids to help them?  Like, babysitting droids?  Droids that somehow knew the magic touch to calm the baby?

All these meandering thoughts led me to think about the Jedi and the First Order Stormtroopers.

Qui Gon says to Shmi (in regards to Anakin):

Had he been born in the Republic, we would have identified him early, and he would have become Jedi…

General Hux counters Kylo:

My men are exceptionally trained — programmed from birth.

I’ve always admired the Jedi, though as I have gotten older I have seen their many flaws as an organization.  But all this thinking led me to wonder: how different are the Stormtroopers from the Jedi?

jedi younglingsWith the Jedi, I found some information online that says the parent’s permission was always asked, but once the child’s mind was opened to the Force, the parent could not take them back.  However, all this was wiped out with the new Disney canon so we essentially don’t know much about the subject of how the young were actually initiated into becoming a Jedi.

The Jedi Order is supposed to be good and uphold justice in the galaxy.  Yet they had a way of identifying young babies, or children, and taking them from their parents to become a Jedi.  I feel conflicted about this.  It seems almost selfish for a parent to refuse to give up their child to become a Jedi since it’s for the greater good of the galaxy.  When you think of how large the Star Wars galaxy is and how few Jedi there are in relation to the number of sentient beings – there aren’t that many Jedi.  At the same time – it’s your child.  How could you be expected to give it up?  Ever?  I look at ARM and I sometimes wonder to myself if I would be able to give her up if Jedi came knocking on my door.  I understand Shmi’s pain a lot better now when she said, “Don’t look back.”

It’s not just your child you’re giving up, you’re giving up your future.  Dreams and plans you had for them.  Little moments that you’ll never get to see.  You’re not allowed to visit them and they will never know who you are.

Then I began to think…is that more or less cruel than General Hux and his stormtroopers?

I’m assuming that Hux doesn’t give a choice to the parents and he wrenches the babies from them.  Then those children are spoon fed First Order young stormtrooperspropaganda day in and day out to make them completely loyal to the First Order.  Their whole life, all they know is the First Order and they live, breathe, and die for the First Order.

Is that really so different from the Jedi?  There are nuances but I find that they feel eerily similar to me.

Both are taken from birth to serve a higher order and both are entrenched in the doctrine of what they serve.  Creepy, right?

In the end, what slightly mollified me was remembering Ahsoka leaving the Jedi Order at the end of The Clone Wars.  I realized that despite the similarities, the Jedi offered something the First Order did not: a choice.  As a Jedi, you had the option to leave the Jedi Order.  If you wanted to give up your life as a Jedi when you got old enough, you were allowed to leave.

I have now begun to wonder if the Jedi who left ever went back to find their family.  If they found them, would they ask why they made the decision to let them go?  Or how hard it was?

The more I think about the Jedi Order, the more jaded I become with them at times.  But did the Jedi do what was right for them as an organization?  Had this been tried and tested many times over the years and they realized that younger children were better to train than older?  Yet, couldn’t there have been a balance between allowing them to know and love their parents while also training to be a Jedi?  Though attachment was forbidden, could it possibly have made them better Jedi in the end (an argument I strongly stand by)?

I don’t have any answers but I do realize now how hard it would be to let my child be taken by strangers, even if they were Jedi.  I’m not sure I could do it, even with how much I love Jedi.  Perhaps that’s the real reason why they had such small numbers – maybe more people had the Force than we know, it’s just that their parents didn’t want to give them up.  😉

Haiku Me Friday! The Bridge

A chasm between Father and son, tensions build In truth, a long bridge

A chasm between
Father and son, tensions build
In truth, a long bridge

First, a few administrative updates.  My Friday posts have been lacking because I have a doctors appointment every Friday now since I’m in the last haul of my pregnancy.  And because I am considered high risk, I have to go to the hospital for this appointment instead of my normal doctors and the hospital is further.  So by the time I’m done with all the monitoring and driving round trip, I’ve lost about 2 hours of my day and I spend the rest of that time catching up on my work.

Secondly, I am due in 3.5 weeks!  Soooo soooooon.  I don’t know what’s going to happen with this blog, but I’m sure I’ll be taking a hiatus for a while as I begin my new life and learn how to adjust.  Follow me on Instagram if you are interested in updates, if not, eventually I’m sure I’ll be back.  This is my only outlet for Star Wars!  I need something to keep me sane, haha.

Third, Mei-Mei and I have started a once-a-month Friday initiative where we will both be coloring the same page from the same Star Wars coloring book.  We won’t confer with each other and it’s just a chance to see what we did differently and why.  This month, she colored in the one I did just a few days ago on May the 4th.  Check it out!


I watched the Han Solo death scene three times last night.  It’s just so good.  I think it could be one of the best scenes in the movie acting-wise, cinematically, and artistically.  Abrams did a great job with it.

First, there’s that really long bridge separating both Kylo Ren and Han Solo.  Though bridges are known as a support, it’s made to look almost like a chasm in this instance, emphasizing the long distance emotionally and physically between these two characters.  When Rey and Finn barge in on the top landing, the light falls as a spotlight onto the two characters.  When we take in that expansive shot, it’s foreboding, but the light gives hope: you thinks that maybe there could be redemption here.

Kylo Ren calls out, “Han Solo!” after Han had yelled his name.  I noticed last night that Han calls his son by his true name (I would expect nothing less), but Kylo Ren also uses Han’s true name.  Not “Father” or “Dad” or anything like that…Han Solo.  I’ve written about the importance of names in Star Wars before, but this is just another perfect example of how by using Han’s given name, Kylo Ren distances himself from his father.  Han uses “Ben” to try to bring his son closer and Kylo Ren uses “Han Solo” to create a distance.

han solo deathAs we transition into the conversation between Kylo and Han, Kylo removes his helmet (and also his conviction) and turns into the petulant child that most people have grown to despise about the character.  Instead, I found that it made a lot of sense.  He’s trying to defend his actions and his turn to the dark side (though not spelled out like that) to his father.  Sometimes I find myself acting like a child a bit when I’m trying to defend myself against my mother or father’s unspoken accusations.  I am listing reasons and I sound a little pathetic, even to myself, similar to Kylo’s excuses that Han’s “son” was weak and foolish so he had to be destroyed.  And when Kylo says Snoke is “wise”, it’s almost like he’s grasping at straws.

When we get to that moment when Kylo Ren acknowledges that he knows what he has to do but doesn’t know if he has the strength, I find the acting of both Adam Driver and Harrison Ford really comes up a notch…especially on Driver’s end.  The tears were in his eyes when he was struggling and petulant but they slowly disappear as he hands the lightsaber to his father.  The beam of light that was on the bridge disappears and you know that last glimmer of hope is gone. As Han tries to wrest the lightsaber, Adam Driver’s subtle progression from conflicted to decided is perfect.  I remember thinking this the very first time I saw the movie in the theaters too.  You can tell that he realizes he does have the strength and he commits the unforgivable act of murdering his own father.

But after Han Solo registers surprise, he pulls his hand up to touch his son’s face.  His last act before death takes him is one of kindness and love.  I teared up watching this yesterday, and I’m sure it’s because I’m going to be a parent so soon, and I realized that no matter what – parents really do love their children.  No matter what.  Han just got killed by his son whom he trusted, but reached up to touch his face one last time before falling off the bridge.

han kylo gif

Interestingly, if you read the script for this scene, there is no directive for Han Solo to touch Kylo’s face.  This was Ford’s interpretation of Han Solo’s last moments.

Han’s last moment is looking into his son’s face. HAN’S
KNEES BUCKLE. The blade tilts down with him… until KYLO
REN EXTINGUISHES IT AND HAN HOLDS onto the catwalk — his
life slipping away.
Finally Han FALLS BACK, OFF THE CATWALK, INTO THE DEPTHS OF THE STRUCTURE

As the scene wraps up, we watch Chewie attempt to gun down Kylo Ren, hitting him with a blaster bolt that seriously weakens him.  I’m not sure if anyone else noticed, but when Kylo Ren leaves the oscillator, he also leaves behind his mask.

Will we see him with another mask in VIII?  A new mask?  Or, if the mask was to hide his indecision and conflict with the light side, will he now no longer need one?  He’s got a pretty good looking scar to make him look a little more intimidating so they might decide to keep him mask-less.

I enjoyed this scene even when watching it in the theaters, but being able to rewatch it at home and picking up all these nuances has brought it to a new level.  I think it’s one of the best scenes in TFA.

What do you take away from this scene?