Haiku Me Friday! The shield doors must be closed

Dread fills my inside
But I have no choice; door shuts
Was the right thing done?

When I went to Celebration/SWCA in 2015, there was a very interesting panel done on the music of the Empire Strikes Back.  They took all the music John Williams had written that was left on the cutting room floor per Lucas’ decision and played the original music where Williams intended them to go.  Some of it was silly – there was music with Luka and Yoda’s training that made you think it was a fun jaunt as opposed to serious preparation for facing a Sith Lord.

A lot of the music that was cut out of the final movie involved scenes at Hoth.  I remember vividly this scene: when the shield doors have to be shut for the night and Leia makes the hard, but right, decision to close the doors despite her two best friends being out in the freezing temperatures.  By closing the doors, she was signing a death sentence (and that’s not an easy thing to live with).

The music Williams had composed for this scene was full of trepidation, it was robust and deadly.  The music fit quite well and I think if it was in the movie, I would never have thought twice about it.

Yet George Lucas decided to leave it on the cutting floor.  This immediately turns the scene into an awkward, this-doesn’t-sit-well-with-me, uncomfortable feeling.  When there was music, the scene turned into a subconscious distraction for your feelings.  It’s almost like a glass of wine to handle the pain better.

But when the music is removed your feelings are left bare and you connect with Princess Leia in a raw, emotional way.  You feel what she feels: the indecision, the doubt, the regret, the fear – all happening as the loud shield doors pull to a close.  When they finally shut and you hear Chewie’s despairing howl, you get goosebumps.

Without the music, this scene turns authentic and harsh.  You are in the moment with Leia, Chewie, Artoo and Threepio.  Threepio’s assessment of the situation rings in your ears while they doors shut.

The odds of survival for Han and Luke are 775 to 1…and that is not very reassuring at all.

 

In case you were wondering what the scene sounds like with the original Williams music, I found it on YouTube.  Enjoy.

 

 

Haiku Me Friday! Hanging upside down

I’m disoriented
The blood rushes to my head
But I feel the Force

This scene in ESB is often overlooked.  It’s a scene that seems like it could have been left on the cutting floor EXCEPT for the fact that we see Luke use the Force in a way we’ve never seen before.  As someone who has grown up with the OT, I’ve gotten used to this scene but I believe it shouldn’t be overlooked.

Before now, we have not really seen what the Force can do.  We’ve seen Obi-Wan mind trick some Stormtroopers, fight Darth Vader with a lightsaber, and speak inside Luke’s head.  Luke blows up the Death Star but it’s still a little hazy on whether or not that was the Force.  As an audience member, we are to believe that he blew up the Death Star with two perfectly timed proton torpedoes using some supernatural element but still…ehh…maybe it was luck?

Then we see Luke pull his lightsaber to him like a magnet.  This is a huge jump from what happened in ANH, even more so because Luke is actually physically doing it and there can be no doubt.  Also, he does this while hanging upside down for goodness knows how long.

After this scene where it is determined that yes, Luke does have the Force, and yes, he’s getting stronger in using the Force – we see him speak to Ben on Hoth through a Force vision and then he heads to Dagobah where he trains in using the Force with Yoda.

This scene serves as a moving piece on the Saga game board.  Though small, it helps cement the audience’s belief in the Force.

 

Happy St. Patricks’ Day everyone!  Hope you find your pot o’ gold.  🙂

I leave you with this picture of my husband and I at the Guinness Brewery in October:

 

Fan Art Friday! Homage to the great Princess

After being a total bum and missing last month’s Fan Art Friday, I’m back this month with Mei-Mei.  She picked a great one – a simple picture of Princess Leia so that we could nod our head to the lately departed.

Though this picture is simple, it brought up so many memories for me of who Princess Leia was and how she impacted my life.

I think most importantly – and also most interestingly – was my initial reactions to Leia being a princess.  When I was younger, I grew up like most children my age with the definition of a princess being a Disney Princess: flowing gowns, a prince charming, magic, etc.

Knowing Leia was a princess did not register with me for a few years, only because I had never encountered a princess other than a Disney princess.  What ended up happening is that my brain rejected it because I could not understand it.  I’m not sure how to explain this properly but she did not fit a mold of how I understood princesses to be and therefore I did not think she was a princess.  This was all strangely subconscious.  Obviously I called her “Princess Leia” but I think the title “Princess” became synonymous with her name, and not a title.

It took a few years and some growing up for me to understand that she was still a princess, albeit different from what I was used to.  I ended up loving her for it.

princess-leia-trash-compactorThis woman was a princess, but snarky, witty, and able to stand her ground with other men.  In fact – she was the one who got them out of the trapped Death Star hallway…even though it was a trash compactor.  I loved her line of, “Well, somebody has to save our skins.”

One of the things I loved most about her is the fact that she never really thanked Han and Luke for rescuing her.  The adult part of me thinks that’s horribly rude, but then some of me loves it because I realize that maybe she always knew there would be a way out.  Maybe she knew that she didn’t need men to rescue her so it was just a helpful coincidence that they showed up at the right time.  Of course, Han did it for money so it’s not like she should thank him anyway.

As Princess Leia evolves, she changes from the sarcastic princess, to someone a bit warmer.  I believe the sarcasm and wit were a wall that she used in ANH to hide her true self.  As ANH continues, we see more of the woman she really is towards the end, when she counsels Luke about Han having to choose his own path.  In ESB, she still has the wall, especially with Han, but Leia’s metaphorical wall finally gets destroyed as Han gets physically enveloped by a real wall.  In ROTJ, the Leia we saw in ANH is barely present.

Funnily though, I never found Leia to be a very relatable character.  I loved her, but she was never the one I yearned to be like as I always wanted to be Luke.  But what Leia taught me is perhaps a more valuable lesson – how to hold my own around men.  When I look back at my teenage years, I’m thoroughly embarrassed by the way I would act to get men’s attention.  I would act like a ditz and an airhead because it made men (boys) laugh.  I was degrading my intelligence for their benefit and attention.

With the help of my best friend at the time and watching Star Wars, I realized that Leia would never act like I did.  She was able to show that you can be valued for your honesty, intelligence, humor, and not be held back because you are a woman.  And you can be royalty to boot as well.

So while coloring this picture, I wanted to pay homage to the Princess Leia that I love and knew.  I tried to keep it simple so that it mostly spotlighted her.  I chose colors that came to mind when I thought of Alderaan: rolling green grass and forests with streams of water.   Instead of giving her the title of Princess Leia which took me so long to accept, I gave the title of “Her Worshipfulness”, which Han called her once in ANH.  I surrounded the picture with some of my favorite quotes of hers that meant something to me over the years (sorry, the nerf herder quote had to be cut out due to it being too long).  I attempted to put the Rebel insignia into there as well.

This has to be my favorite coloring piece I have done so far only because of the gravity at which I took it and the memories and feelings it evoked for me.

princess-leia-coloring-book

Carrie Fisher, you will forever be missed as the woman who brought Princess Leia to life.  The Star Wars community mourns your loss and hope the Force is with you wherever you are now.

 

 

Haiku Me Friday! It’s snowing…

Wampas and Tauntauns A cold desert in the snow The barren landscape

Wampas and Tauntauns
A cold desert in the snow
The barren landscape

I woke up this morning to an inch of snow.  Yesterday I was thinking to myself about how wonderful it was to finally be walking my dog with sneakers again because all the snow and ice had melted.  I must have jinxed it.

I’ve written about Hoth before in a Haiku but it always comes to the forefront of my mind when winter slams Massachusetts.  We live in a funny area of MA, closer to the coast, but not too close.  We’re on this dividing line where forecasters will often say, “West of I-495 should expect to see 6” or more of snow, whereas East of I-495 will see around 2-4”,” or vice versa depending on if it’s a land storm or a coastal storm.  But we are at that weird dividing line of I-495 so we never know what we are going to get.  Today is only an inch but tomorrow is 4-9” depending on what part of Massachusetts you live.  I would prefer 0” but it looks like I have no say in this matter.

My husband and I always thought we’d move out of here since we despise the winters.  But having family so close when you have children changes everything; I can’t imagine not living near our families now that we have ARM.

I think I just need to reframe my thinking, to go along with my New Year’s resolution to be more positive.  Every time I complain about snow I can think, “At least it’s not Hoth.”  Think about it – Hoth didn’t have any trees or greenery to be seen.  It was pretty desolate.  At least I have trees to look at and I don’t have to wear jackets indoors (ever notice how everyone in the Rebellion is wearing their jackets within Echo Base?).  It’s like when I had finals in college and was stressed.  I would say to myself, “At least the fate of the world doesn’t depend on me dropping a mind-twisting ring into Mt. Doom at Mordor.”  Do not think I’m joking.  I said that to myself at the end of every semester.

Okay, bring on the snowstorm!  At least it’s not Hoth.

 

In other news – I’m hosting my first annual Star Wars party in February.  I can’t believe it took me this long to make it an annual party.  I boba-fett-dancing-gifcan’t stand the month of February.  It’s cold, there’s a lot of snow, and Valentine’s Day is stupid.  Now I have a reason to be more positive!  I’m going to host a Star Wars party every February.  I’m trying to make it as chill as possible…open to anyone, light food, some alcohol and drinks, and one game.

Guess what the game is!

(Pun!)  The attendees have to guess what movie I am going to pick.  If they guess right, they get a prize.  Yup, no one knows what we’re watching until the day of.  This gives me a bit of a manic glee (probably similar to what General Hux experienced as Starkiller Base was charged by the sun) as I love having other people in suspense over something I control.

You guys are welcome to guess too and I’ll also send you a prize if you guess correctly.  But you won’t get the prize until after February 11th

 

Have a great weekend everyone.  I’m working on my books of 2016 post and I’m hoping to be more active here in 2017.  Xoxo.

You Must Learn Control

Icarus left a comment on my blog post the other day that I haven’t been able to stop thinking about.  Actually, it wasn’t his comment per se, but was said by George Lucas regarding Anakin’s fall to the dark side from a CNN article in 2002 (AOTC era, pre ROTS):

In this film, you begin to see that he has a fear of losing things, a fear of losing his mother, and as a result, he wants to begin to control things, he wants to become powerful, and these are not Jedi traits.  And part of these are because he was starting to be trained so late in life, that he’d already formed these attachments. And for a Jedi, attachment is forbidden.

“He wants to begin to control things.”  This sat with me – mainly because of my terrible need to control things as well.  We all, at some point or another, want to control our life and our future, no matter who you are.  You can be the most chill person in the world, but there is probably some degree or need to control minuscule portions of your life.  Then there are others, like myself, who prefer to control every minuscule detail if possible and though I think I’ve gradually gotten better, I still fall apart when Plan A, B, and C aren’t quite working like I was hoping.

anakin angry

 

At one point on Dagobah, when Luke is training with Yoda, Yoda admonishes him,

Control, control, you must learn control!

So why does Yoda want Luke to learn control, yet probably wanted Anakin to let go of his control?  Isn’t that contradictory?

What is the difference between Anakin and Luke?  The way I read and think about the situation is that Anakin used his fear as a propeller to learn more and conquer more through his knowledge.  He wanted power to change the situations through his control of the Force.  We see this to be very true later on in ROTS when he wants the ultimate power – to stop Padmé from dying – and apply it to his life.  He believes he’s helping people but he is, instead, digging his own grave.  Would Padmé have died if Anakin hadn’t turned to the dark side?  Ah, the million dollar question.

With Luke, though, it seems a little different.  He wants to go to Cloud City to try and rescue his friends (which, again, would have fared better without his help) but his motivation does not seem to be as rooted in the need for power.  While it seems to be more altruistic in nature, it does also stem fromluke skywalker handstand dagobah this need to control the events around him.  As Yoda says, “If you leave now, help them you could.  But you would destroy all for which they have fought and suffered.”

Obviously I’m going completely off canon by suggesting Yoda would have wanted Anakin to lessen his need to control, but I don’t think it’s that out there.  What I believe is that both had the fear of loss ingrained within them (who doesn’t?) but where Luke needed to control more from a situation of distance and understanding, Anakin needed to lessen his control so that it could also bring him to a place of understanding and distance.

I’ve mentioned many times that I don’t think the Jedi had it right when they tried to rid their pupils from attachment.  In fact, most of the time I think it was just wrong.  As we saw, Luke used his attachment to his father to save Anakin from the dark side and also help the galaxy.  However, there is also a point where life needs to be played out for what it is without our involvement because sometimes when we mess around with it too much, we look back and realize that maybe we shouldn’t have tried to control it like we did.  Luke had to learn to take a step back and realize he couldn’t run to help Han and Leia with everything in their lives because it could just make it worse.  He had to control his need to always help and rein it in.  Anakin needed to learn that he couldn’t be all-powerful and that controlling everything too much could backfire.  The main difference I’ve found is that Luke’s control was rooted in love whereas Anakin’s control was rooted in fear.

The reason that quote has been bothering me so much is that I believe I lean more towards Anakin than Luke.  It’s when I get the most scared, the most fearful, the most anxious, that I begin to try to control events and people around me.  I use all the power that I have to influence what happens around me to make sure it happens the way I want it to go.  Unlike Luke, whose need for more control stems from a caring, kind, thoughtful place; instead, I feel like I completely understand Anakin.  I don’t want life to “just happen”.  I want life to happen according to my rules.

 

What about you?  Do you need more control because you always want to jump and help someone instead of letting them work it out on their own?  Or are you more like me and you need to lessen your control because you always want to make things go your way?