Diary Posts From A Long, Long Time Ago

I was inspired a few months ago by Megan’s blog posts that included diary entries from 1999 and when The Phantom Menace premiered. It reminded me of when my own obsession began with Star Wars – also in 1999 and due to TPM.

I was 12 years old and though I had seen Star Wars previously, it had never spoken to me in quite the way it did with TPM. I’ve been through this before, so I won’t bore anyone with even more details.

When reading Megan’s posts, I couldn’t go back and dig out my diary because they were packed away for the move. I kind of forgot about doing a post on my past diary entries.

Then I was chatting with Imperial Talker two days ago and mentioned I had once written a Star Wars Anthem to the tune of our (US) national anthem. He encouraged me to dig it out and find it.

Since my diaries have been unpacked, I have finally received the motivation needed to sift through all the entries (I used to write A LOT when I was young!) and find some interesting Star Wars related ones to share.

I discovered that:

  1. I was seriously in love with Luke Skywalker,
  2. I loved to record dreams – and apparently I had a lot related to Star Wars,
  3. I could not spell Darth Vader correctly (I wrote it Vadar…novice mistake!),
  4. I did, indeed, make a song to our national anthem but it’s nowhere near as good as I remember it being in my head.

 

I know I was in love with Luke Skywalker but I don’t think I remember it the way I felt it in 1999. I always say that Luke Skywalker was one of

Yup, sums me up at age 12.

my “first crushes” but I’m trying to figure out what attracted me to him at a young age. I honestly don’t think it was inappropriate, but more like – I thought he was handsome, he could use magic (the Force), and he was down-to-the-soul good. He resisted evil and did what he thought was right. At that point in my life, I needed that a lot more than the bad boy Solo, whom I would end up understanding the appeal of when I got older. I didn’t include any photos of those diary entries because a) they’re weird, and b) they mostly consist of me saying “I love Luke Skywalker!!!!!!!!”

As for the dreams – funnily, I was talking about this with my sister the other day. So many people can’t remember their dreams. But I had gone on an interpretive dream kick when I was younger (now I know exactly how young! 12 and in 1999!) and made an effort to record all my dreams and try to decipher the meanings of them. Due to this obsessive habit that I had for months, I still remember almost all my dreams to this day. I could tell you exactly what I dreamed last night. It’s such a weird experiment I did that shows that when you do something persistently when you’re younger – it stays with you as you get older.

 

So without much further ado, here are a few good ones from 1999.

 

Dream Diary Entry #1 (I cut this one off in the middle because it had irrelevant stuff about school friends):

July 10, 1999

 

What I loved about reading this specific entry was that it brought back the feeling of the podracer to me. I don’t remember any other part of the dream – but I remember the feeling of driving in a podracer at age 30. And I remember waking up and wanting to dream it all over again. It was so real. Even 21 years later, I remember that podracing dream.

Oh and I love how I had to take a little dig at Jake Lloyd. Like “not even Jake Lloyd felt how I felt”…haha.

 

Dream Diary Entry #2:

September 6, 1999

 

Apparently I had to explain my actions on why Luke was holding my hand (we were married). Haha, I must have thought that was inappropriate to do otherwise!

In case anyone was wondering, Coober Pedy is an opal mining town in Australia. I had visited it the summer before (1998) and had fallen in love with the underground houses they had in the area. I thought it was so cool…and apparently my subconscious was still obsessed with it a year later.

 

Dream Diary Entry #3:

September 7, 1999

 

Not as interesting, but hey, Leia made an appearance! Sounds like she got shafted quite often.

 

Diary Entry #4, The Important Things in Life:

September 11, 1999

 

Is it all true? I still wonder. Did this all happen? Is Star Wars real? BURNING QUESTIONS I STILL ASK MYSELF TODAY.

But otherwise, this is clearly a momentous event. It sounds like I had been looking for his address for a while. For all the new people following my blog, I did end up writing to George Lucas and questioned some direction of his on TPM and hoping he would resolve the flow between the OT and the PT because thus far, there was not a lot of similarity. (Also, I used to name my diaries. This one was named Ariana Skywalker and I liked to write to the diary like it was a friend)

I never received a response from him, BUT his staff wrote back with a copy of Star Wars Insider and I’ve subscribed to the magazine for almost 20 years (other than the brief break in college when I had no money).

 

Diary Entry #5, the Star Wars Anthem:

September 8, 1999

I’ve held this song in my head as, like, the pinnacle of greatness. It’s kind of disappointing to look back and see, oh wait, it’s really not that good. Ah well. Looks like I had a lot of notes attached to one syllable. Guess I’ll never be a songwriter any time soon.

There you have it – a glimpse into my life when I became obsessed with Star Wars. I love that I was blogging about Star Wars before I knew what blogging was. What’s somewhat amusing about all this is that I thought I would have more entries related to TPM. But it seems like most focus is on the OT, with the exception of the podracer dream.

 

Are there any distinct childhood memories about Star Wars that you remember?

 

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14 thoughts on “Diary Posts From A Long, Long Time Ago

  1. Okay so I love everything about this post, eeeeeevvvvvvverything. I mean heck I was already excited about the SW Anthem (which was fantastic!) but the other entries are so great!!! I bet when you get to share these with your own kiddos one day it’ll be so much fun! Of particular note, it is pretty damn adorable when you wrote that you would cry if you didn’t have another dream like the one where you were podracing. Which makes me wonder…how vividly do you remember that dream today? It seems like it was such a real experience for you given what you wrote that it must still float around your mind at time. Oh, and Chewie living in Arizona is pretty great because of coooooourse he would live in Arizona.

    • Lol I really don’t think it’s that great of a post but it’s certainly interesting! And you’re making me blush over the star wars anthem BECAUSE IT SUCKS. I really thought it was better than that.

      I don’t remember that much of the dream – the whole part with Luke, han, lightsaber dueling… I don’t remember that. But I DO remember the feeling of the wind rushing past my face and the high speed of driving the podracer. I think the biggest feeling that keeps me attached to that dream all these years later is the feeling of exhilaration and pure happiness. It was a dream come true but unfortunately it didn’t come true but was so real it felt true… If that makes sense?

      That part about Arizona is interesting because I had not been there at that age so how could I have known it was Arizona? But interestingly, it’s now my favorite state in the US so that must’ve been some weird premonition.

      • Oh I think it is a fantastic post. I get tired of reading the same stuff on different sites, 85% of which feels like just re-reporting news. I like unique posts – theories, deep dives into the content, interesting speculation, personal reflections that are deep/insightful (and non-superficial). Doing a post like this where you share your thoughts from long ago is refreshing, a great reminder of how/why SW means something to those of us who grew up with it. I wish I had a journal that I could look back at to cite, but memories floating in my head have to suffice. Perhaps I will do a similar post and share some “Top Moments” from my past and use them as reflection for the present/future of my SW fanlove.

        • Oh man, you would have probably loved my blog when I first started on WP! There were a lot more deep and insightful posts. I still manage to pull them from my brain occasionally, but since I’ve had ARM, life is a lot more hectic and I have more “lighter” thoughts about Star Wars, if that makes sense? Plus, the deeper ones take longer to write. Have you read my essays on Luke, Leia, Han and how their costumes reflect their character path? You might enjoy those.

          I would love to see a top moments post! Do let us know if you loved anyone with the same intensity that I loved Luke. 😉

          P.S. I was really hoping that all this talk about my podracing dream would lead me to have another but, alas, I did not have a podracing dream last night.

        • Hey, if you come on my blog, I guarantee you there will never be a post about news, ever 😉

          On the other hand, my posting tends to be erratic. But I would also love to see more nostalgia posts from all over! If you do one, let me know so I can re-blog.

  2. OMG this is amazing. I’m so glad you dug these out and shared them. I don’t ever remember having dreams about Star Wars, though my sister once had a nightmare about being chased by Darth Vader–not fun. I did write Star Wars fan fiction in high school, though! Not about Luke or anything though, it was original characters. I was a very indifferent diary keeper as a child; I would start and write an entry, and then find the diary again a year later and write another haha. But I named mine, too 😀

    Luke was definitely my crush also. I didn’t appreciate either Leia or Han until I got older.

    I also love that Chewie lives in Arizona.

    • Haha funny that you and Imperial Talker like the Arizona tidbit!

      I turned into an indifferent diary keeper over time – I don’t actually keep a diary anymore. Sometimes I’ll pick it up and write stuff. Yesterday I was thinking it would be fun to write down little things that ARM is doing so I never forget it. Like, one memory a day. Not sure if I would have time for that though, but it would be cute.

      The “problem” with stuff like that though is that it’s only interesting to me. ARM will read it when she’s older and be like, meh whatever. She won’t care. I wouldn’t care if I read some weird stuff I was doing when I was one. It’s only the mom who cares.

      I know Luke was your crush also – can you figure out why that was? I really think it was because he was cute and good. Maybe easier to relate to?

  3. Pingback: Haiku Me Friday! Podracing – Star Wars Anonymous

  4. Yay I’m inspiring!! Been meaning to come back and read this for days now ^_^ First, I love how we’re like 23% the same person XD In love with Luke Skywalker? Yes. Writing down every Star Wars dream? Yes. Named the diaries? Yes (usually after some prominent feature on the cover — Pearl for a white Shih Tzu, Pal for a colt, Oceania for an island view… most challenging ever was a diary that had rows of people from all over the world all over it. Eventually came up with “Neaasaa” after the first letter of each continent!) I’m pretty sure I had that black spiral diary too, only I could never get the gel pens to work more than 20 minutes and I quickly abandoned all black paper. Han even said “hell” in one of my dreams and scandalized me terribly XD

    I love the song, but, c’mon, they don’t have bullets! XD XD Lasers has two syllables too 😉 (I once rewrote “Take Me Out to the Ball Game” as “Take Me To the AWANA Grand Prix,” and actually got in trouble with the leadership for the line “I do not care if your car loses,” so I approve of the impulse to make classics relevant LOL.)

    Now you’ve got me thinking I should do a dream diary post in addition to my other nostalgia trip posts planned this year, haha. Star Wars is ridiculously absent from June-October of my ’97 diary. I noticed some common themes and language although I never did dream about podracers 😀

    • Lol, only 23%? Such an exact number. Why not 20%? Or 25%?

      I like your diary names much better than mine.

      And I know! Rookie mistake! Bullets?? What was I thinking??? Hahaha.

      And yes yes yes! Do a dream diary post! I find dreams fascinating.

  5. Reblogged this on The RebeLibrarian and commented:
    Ever notice that when Obi-Wan gets someone to do something, he’s INSPIRING, but when Palpatine does it, he’s cOrRuPtInG?

    Anyway, the point is, my decision to obsess over my young self’s diaries is validated, as I’ve inspired another blogger to do the same! Enjoy.

  6. Pingback: Diary Posts From A Long, Long Time Ago | Welcome to Michael Qing Expanded Universe

  7. Pingback: I Dream Of Star Wars | The RebeLibrarian

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