Now onto my Friday Five, which is an unusual post just because I rarely talk about things I hate about Star Wars. But there are things that really upset me, and that I almost hate, and most of them actually tie into the Prequels in some way.
The Five Things That Really Upset Me About Star Wars
- I’ve gone into this a lot in my grievances post, but I think the biggest inconsistency that bothers me is Leia “remembering” her mother. It’s not possible. I don’t care how strong you are in the Force (and Leia is less strong than Luke and Luke has no memory of her), and if you have past Force visions (whatever), you can’t remember her from the womb or the 10 seconds you were with each other.
No, no, no, no. There was just so much potential with a really cool storyline for Leia and Padmé that…died (pun). Maybe that’s what I mourn the most. The fact that Lucas could have done something really interesting with Leia and Padmé at the end of ROTS was a lost opportunity. My great storyline has always been that Obi-Wan tries to hide Padmé and Leia (he already gave Luke to the Owen and Beru). But Anakin knows Padmé is still alive and is searching for her, so Padmé decides to confront him and tries to save him. She entrusts Leia to the Organas on Alderaan and flies to meet Vader. Palpatine knows about this and an “accident” happens to her ship and she blows up in flames. It plays into Palpatine’s master plans and his conniving and we kind of get the same results as before…but this time Leia can actually remember her mother.
- Attack of the Clones. Okay, we all know this is my least favorite Star Wars movie. But let me actually go into more detail on why…the script writing is horrible. It doesn’t matter how good of an actor you are (I think Ewan McGregor and Natalie Portman are pretty darn good), if you are faced with lines like you were presented in that script, ugh, good luck. You just can’t make that work. Examples of what I am talking about:
- “I’d rather dream of Padmé. Just being around her again is…intoxicating.”
- “I don’t like sand. It’s coarse and rough and irritating, and it gets everywhere. Not like here. Here everything’s soft… and smooth…”
- “Then we’d be living a lie – one we couldn’t keep even if we wanted to. I couldn’t do that. Could you, Anakin? Could you live like that?”
It’s really brutal. Sometimes when I read the script I think it sounds like a bad soap opera. And the acting is halting and stiff, none of the characters seem to have any real chemistry. I think it definitely gets better in ROTS, but AOTC is so horrible that I’m surprised I own it sometimes. The action scenes are cool, I just can’t get past the dialogue and acting in Episode II.
- Hayden Christensen replaces Sebastian Shaw as a Force Ghost the end of ROTJ. I cried when I saw this the first time and it wasn’t out of happiness. I still remember where I was because I had heard rumors about this. I kept hoping it wasn’t true, praying it wasn’t true. I had spent the whole day of a Saturday watching the trilogy as it had just been released on DVD. I was getting towards the end of ROTJ and I pulled up my legs to tuck under my chin and just stared with hope against hope that the rumors were wrong. But they weren’t wrong and Christensen materialized on the screen and I screamed. And paced. And screamed at the TV again. I have heard many reasons for the change. One of them was that Lucas wanted something to tie both the PT and the OT together. Another was that as a Jedi Force Ghost, that was how Anakin remembered himself as a Jedi, before he turned into Darth Vader. A different reason was that Anakin truly died as a Jedi when he was younger, so it makes sense to come back as a Force Ghost in the younger version. It was a bad decision and it sucks that I can’t watch a nice DVD without that stupid guy’s face popping up at the end. I’m actually one of the few people that doesn’t mind the added dance scene’s in Jabba’s palace. I’d keep that in a heartbeat if it just meant taking out Hayden Christensen’s head (yes, supposedly they just CGI’d his head on there, so it’s ¾ Shaw and ¼ Christensen).
- When Vader is portrayed super muscular. I don’t know, it just doesn’t sit well with me. Yes, Vader is large. Yes, he may be muscular underneath all that machine, but his muscles are not rippling out of his suit. I’ve seen many paintings and pictures which show Vader as this unstoppable force to be reckoned with, with large, broad Gaston-like muscles. I understand a lot of it is for comic books, because that’s the style of comic books, but it’s just a little out of character. I feel like I’m making a really weak argument, but look at these pictures and try to understand where I’m coming from:
- Darth Maul returns in TCW. Overall, I liked TCW…except for when Darth Maul came back. Darth Maul was quintessentially the coolest badass Sith to bring into the Prequels. He didn’t talk much, which lent to his mysterious background. He had a double bladed lightsaber (wtf, so cool). He held his own significantly against
two highly trained Jedi. I was sad he died so soon, but it seemed to be a fitting end as it hinted at Obi-Wan’s rage and how he teetered on the brink of the dark side. And damn, he got cut clean in half. No one is coming back from that. Oh wait, but he did. Whhhhhhy? They put mechanical legs on him, which look dumb, and he talks…all the time. I really loved Maul when he didn’t talk. As I said, mysterious. His whole story line was just weird too, uninteresting, and unimportant. Technically, it leaves us on a cliffhanger too where we don’t know what is going to happen to him. Why would Sidious keep him alive? Why would he even entertain that notion? (Yes, I’ve read up on Sons of Dathomir so I know what was supposed to happen after that. Still uninteresting.)
Rants over. When you love something, you love it with your whole heart, even the bad parts. I can overlook these bad parts because I love the Saga so much, but sometimes…these little things really annoy me.
Anyone else want to chime in? Who shot first?